Take Out Containers

So… now we are getting down to the “nut-cuttin’,” as they say.

  Less than a week to go on Operation: Carry Over.  The house is no longer home. It’s unrecognizable and foreign to us.  Suddenly, you notice that your voice has an echo that wasn’t there before.  Where the fuck are we?  Still, you work on.  It’s the only thing you can do to distract at this point.

Welcome to our living room. Pop a squat on the floor there and enjoy watching our televi... uh, I mean... dust bunnies?

  It has been a shitty end of the week.  We’ve said a lot of goodbyes this week.  Vess at her work, me at mine… we gave up the world’s sweetest cat, and we have been meeting up with our families to bid farewell.  It’s proven to be more difficult than either one of us had anticipated.

  When you know you’re moving, you concentrate on things like finances, travel, storage – the practical side of things.  Turns out, that part is easy.

  I have said my goodbyes this weekend to my job and all of the great people involved with it.  I wrote a few parting letters to my closest friends because I thought it was the right thing to do.  Those letters were really hard to get through.  I’ve known these people for so long and have become so close to them that it was a struggle to get through every sentence.  I have also been saying my last few goodbyes with my family.  It’s tearing my heart in two.  It was not a good weekend.  It was a weekend of tears and reminiscing.  It’s about at this point that you realize, “I am the cause of all this pain!”  All these goodbyes, farewells and see you laters are because of me.  Nobody forced me to do this.  I am the cause of all of the pain I feel – all of the tears.  I am the traitor at work.. the one that is abandoning and jumping ship.  I am the one moving away from his family.  I am the one voluntarily leaving the ones he loves.  Eventually, you start to feel guilty.  The first time I felt this was while I was looking at my fighting cat’s eyes as I was stuffing her into a carrier.  I’ve felt it several times since.  Again, it was not a good weekend.

  I honestly feel selfish.  Is it worth the sorrow?  Is it worth taxing these close relationships?  Is it worth moving so far away from the people I love?  I don’t know… but it’s too late to turn back now.  The best I can hope for is to make it worth it.  I have to make sure all of this isn’t in vain.


Mixed Greens

  Less than two weeks before the big move and things are getting interesting.

  The amount of work that needs to be done is daunting.  It’s ok because as long as you keep your nose to the grindstone, you don’t have time to think about the gravity of the situation.  Vess and I have one more work week left, and then a free week to make final preparations.  Here, during those last few moments, is when people really start to show their true colors.

  It started out innocently enough.  Maybe there’s a random comment at work during break.  “Oh, the housing market is bad,” or “Culinary school is expensive.”  Though they are painfully obvious, these comments are fine.  It’s a generalized statement.  It could be interpreted as fact, even… but then it turns more personalized.  It’s like they want to get in their last little parting shot while they can.  Now it’s “You’ll never be able to sell that house,” and “You’re wasting your time with culinary school.”  I was even told once that with a culinary arts degree I might be able to get a job managing at that bastion of high cuisine, Olive Garden.  I don’t know if people want to see us fail, or have no confidence in us whatsoever.  Maybe they just don’t understand exactly what we are trying to achieve.  I guess it’s the glory of the “I told you so” moment.  Some people love to shoot down your hopes and dreams and it hurts, especially when it comes from someone you love.

There is, thankfully, a flip side to this.

  There are also those people who believe in you.  The ones that are happy for you and hope to see you succeed.  Sometimes it comes from people whom you would least suspect.  In a sea of naysayers, supportive people are few and far between but they are what keep you going.  When you hear that someone has confidence in you it’s hard not to have a little more confidence in yourself.  They are a rare breed but they’re special.  They are the ones that you will love and remember for the rest of your life.

  Vess and I have been told about the futility of our kooky little plan for a few years, but that doesn’t bother me so much now.  We’re nervous, scared and sometimes feel alone.  The thing is, as long as you have people, no matter how few, that are rooting for you, you don’t feel so alone.  Sure, we’re moving thousands of miles away from these people, but they will always be in our hearts.  Hopefully, one day, we too will get to have our  “I told you so” moment.