So, here we are roughly 2 months from our departure date and it’s driving me mad. It’s sort of like the quiet before the storm. There are still more things that need to be packed up in boxes but there is still enough time that we don’t need to be down to the bare necessities yet. I’ve been laid off for the past few months due to the nature of my job (designer for seasonal commercial displays.) The hometime has actually been a blessing. I’ve completely remodeled a bathroom that has been half-finished for years, put a new roof and deck on the house thanks to hail insurance and some hardworking family members, completely repainted the entire house, got it listed on the market and packed up most of our cherished belongings while storing them in various houses and garages across the Carolinas. It was a nonstop marathon of blood, sweat, tears and stress for months… and now, we wait.
I still can’t shake the feeling that there is something I could still be working on with the house. Oh sure, I try to stay busy. I play guitar, do the laundry, occasionally cook meals and wash dishes, sketch some designs… but it’s all half-hearted at this point. My attention is on the big move and I AM READY TO GO! Granted, the house has had only one couple come for a showing and I should enjoy all the extra time that I can get. I know it’s going to be years before I get this much free time ever again, if at all. Nevertheless, I can’t lose the fat, lazy husband feeling that is hovering over my head.
I need something to occupy my mind. When I’m left alone to my thoughts I get a headache. My mind skips from thought to thought and idea to idea without focus like someone is flipping through television channels. The days seem unbearably long and I can feel my belly getting softer. My back and neck feel like a tightly clenched fist. I’m lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep at night before I spring wide awake and stare at the ceiling while running disaster scenarios in my head. On the positive side, the grass has been maintained better this year than any year previous, and the sheets are washed, bleached and line-dried at least once a week. Vess says I need to find a new hobby and relax while I can. I just want this move over with.